I was hurt by the church and Christians - I do not want to go back
Being wounded by the people who carry God's name is a special kind of injury, and God does not dismiss it - he is more angry about it than you are. ' (Jeremiah 23:1; Ezekiel 34). So do not confuse the staff with the Shepherd: the ones who hurt you were disobeying Jesus, not representing him.
Your anger deserves honesty, your wounds may deserve a counselor's help, and if crimes were committed they deserve reporting - none of that is unforgiveness (see the entry on forgiving an abuser). But guard against the enemy's favorite endgame: isolating you permanently from all of God's people because some of them failed you. Scripture is realistic that wheat and tares grow together (Matthew 13:24-30), and it still insists we need each other (Hebrews 10:24-25) - somewhere there is a community that would treat your story with the gravity it deserves.
Take your time. Test carefully (1 Thessalonians 5:21). But do not let the people who misrepresented Jesus have the final say on who Jesus is: 'him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out' (John 6:37).
From Bible Navigator's study library. Scripture quotations are from the King James Version (public domain). This is encouragement for study and reflection, not professional counseling - if you are in crisis, call or text 988.